Gently Does It January

Reprogramming your patterns to help you live your neurodivergent life

Dear neurokin,

Welcome to my first offering for Belong… we are neurokin of 2025. And welcome to a lot of new neurokin who have subscribed in December and January.

It’s great to have you here.

I hope that this year has started off well for you.

Creating a new pattern for starting the year

For me, I’ve resisted the urge to rush into 2025 like a bat out of hell, as I had done in the previous two new year’s.

When I drove myself to burnout last summer, I vowed to take time off from producing content or holding creative learning spaces in service of others, in mid December - mid January.

I chose this time to take off as I find these times the most challenging for me energetically, I’m overwhelmed and depleted by December and I battle against what feels like endless bleakness in January.

I’ve been trying my best to slowly unfurl into this new year. Giving myself time to contemplate and generate some ideas.

Alongside creating learning content for Belong…we are neurokin I’m working on:

• my second book

• getting ready to launch a self paced learning course to support you in living your neurodivergent life

• Coaching people who want to grow in or transform their careers and quality of life.

In that very first week, before my children went back to school, I got to a place where I felt like I was experiencing deep rest.

Waking up naturally, when the light eventually broke, gently waking me from the deep darkness of early January. I also took to the occasional snooze on the sofa when it started getting dark at 3pm!

How has changing my relationship with mid winter altered patterns and helped me to live my neurodivergent life?

It certainly hasn’t made a “new year, new me!”

It has given me a sense of starting to honour what I need to live in alignment with my neurodivergent energetic rhythms.

I know what times of the year are difficult for me and I’ve made small changes in how much I take care of myself to accommodate that.

I’m looking forward to gently moving forward into January and beyond.

I hope that this is the beginning of reprogramming my pattern, reclaiming January for hibernation and gentleness.

This one act, to honour what I need; I hope it resets a pattern, away from doing what I believe I ought to be doing, to show the world I am worthy and productive.

I think this is a powerful start to help me live my neurodivergent life.

I hope it inspires you to consider how you can create patterns of how you go forward into the world, in ways that are aligned with your natural energy and neurodivergent self.

Questions for you to consider how you can alter your energetic patterns

1. What times of the year is your energy most depleted?

2. How could you alter your patterns to accommodate rest and replenishment?

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I got a bit panicky around 5th January when I felt vacant of new ideas about what direction I wanted to take Belong…we are neurokin in.

What if no idea’s came about the topics we could focus on throughout this year?

Then, POP!… new ideas started to come to me last week and I really enjoyed giving them space to emerge and breathe.

A photo I took on a beautiful winter walk. We had a treat of a magical few days of snow (a rare winter occurrence these days) in East Sussex U.K in January 2025

What’s in store for Belong…we are neurokin in 2025?

| neurokin topics we’ll be exploring this year |

Thanks to those of you who shared with me what you wanted to learn more about from Belong…we are neurokin

With your feedback in mind, here are some of the topics we’ll be exploring this year

• Friendship

• Partnerships and alternative ways people live

• Parenting

• Careers

  • working independently

  • alternative work practices that allows neurodivergence to thrive

• Travel/Adventure

• Finance

  • Your relationship with finance and money

  • rewriting your money story

• Health

  • Your Energy

    • How to access regular rest that works for you

    • Somatic movement to soothe your nervous system

  • Understanding dysregulation from an emotional and energetic angle

    • The distinction and collision of emotional and energetic dysregulation

    • daily regulation tools to work for you to help in both areas

  • co occurring health conditions

• Your development and growth

  • Self esteem; how it differs from confidence and the connection between them both

  • Acknowledging the disruption that comes to you in a late life neurodivergent discovery

  • Beyond neurodivergent discovery… what comes after late life discovery?

For each monthly topic we’ll deepen your learning by delving into it in 3 ways

• EXPLORE (Free) - I’ll share with you research or books that are helpful on the monthly topic for neurokin, highlighting the positive twists and interesting turns it brings in the neurodiversity movement.

• LEARN (Paid) - I invite a neurodivergent practitioner who has experience and knowledge on the topic we’re exploring. Their insight on the topic will help you to consider what this learning means for you and how you might adapt to live in ways better aligned to fully living your neurdivergent life.

• GROW (Paid) - This is where I create a space for you, with learning prompts and guided coaching questions or a meditation, for you gather all that you’re learning and consider how you can take action to help you grow in self: understanding | acceptance | compassion | confidence.

Our learning topic for January

Creating your Learning | Me Map for 2025

With a gently does it approach to January in mind, our learning focus for this month is You.

I’m inviting you to spend time focusing on what you want to learn about neurodivergence this year and the action you want to take to be fully living your neurodivergent life.

I’ll be providing you with the prompts and tools to develop your own learning compass or me map for 2025.

LEARN

Next week, on Friday 24th, I’ll be sharing

• Learning Styles - how this can be the key to welcoming parts of you that you’d forgotten about

• A brilliant BELONG conversation I had with AuDHD Therapist and Coach, Christine Doyle.

  Two key learning topics Christine talks about:

  • Friendship

  • How learning about and accepting your neurodivergence can feel like being handed the ‘right’ map.

GROW

We’ll wrap up this month, on Friday 31st January, with learning prompts to help you design your own personal learning map for the year ahead.

Introducing the Belong Reading Room

“Our lives are lived forward but understood backward”

Nine Minds, Daniel Tammet

This month, rather than sharing a piece of research with you in EXPLORE I’m sharing two books that are helping me with my own learning.

Something I want to change this year; where I choose to give my attention and the information I choose to consume - less news, social media and more information that makes me stop to contemplate and consider new angles.

Here are two books I am currently reading, enjoying and being inspired by.

• Nine Minds; Inner lives on the Spectrum by Daniel Tammet

  • presents the nuance of autistic people. It gently illuminates the richness of autism, the talents it helps to cultivate and how a variety of people have found ways to adapt to contribute great things

  • I love the way that Daniel is bringing the rich tapestry of autistic life’s to the surface, weaving the loneliness, isolation and difficulty that can be experienced alongside their brilliant contributions made in the work they do, the places they live, the challenges they experience and how they experience the world.

  • The nine mind’s explored are diverse in age, culture and their experiences. Their personalities shine through, alongside their stories of joy, difficulty, families, ambitions and natural talent.

• How to Thrive with Adult ADHD, Dr James Kustow

  • sharing his wealth of knowledge on ADHD from lived experience and professional research and practice as a consultant psychiatrist, this book illuminates so much more than deficit.

  • It shows us the breadth of lived traits and their effect on mind and body; the very real challenges of impulsivity, reward deficiency and, without judgement, addiction; both substance and behavioural/process, for those seeking solace from the debilitating outcomes that ADHD can present, if left unsupported.

  • It sets out ADHD in a clear and visual way; the foundations, seven pillars and moving forward; from adverse to adaptive outcomes. It also highlights the impact of emotional dysregulation - which is excluded from ADHD diagnosis but forms a huge part of the challenges experienced for those with ADHD.

  • His writing style is engaging and informative, so it’s easy to read and gets my mind abuzz with loads of thoughts and ideas.

  • I see parts of myself reflected back in his pages and I know with my autism in the mix it’s not my whole story.

Positive Shifts and Interesting Turns in Neurodiversity

These two books offer us an insight into how the neurodiversity movement is changing; both books illuminate the abundance and nuance that neurodivergence presents - a refreshing insight, that is not only deficit based.

I’d love your input in the Belong | neurokin reading room.

• Have you read either of these books?

  • What did you think of them?

• What else are your reading that is informing and inspiring you about neurodiversity?

• What books are helping you to learn more about your neurodivergent self

Happy January x